


love you (like im gonna lose you)

by NinjaKTX



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hanahaki Disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 16:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19403971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinjaKTX/pseuds/NinjaKTX
Summary: It all started on the day Emma Nolan broke up with Alyssa Greene. It all went downhill from there.orThe Hanahaki au nobody asked for but needed





	love you (like im gonna lose you)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry.

How pathetic. 

It hadn't even been an hour and she could feel it. Blood spotted petals, stems, leaves, stupid fucking branches, she could feel it all. Nobody could have predicted it, least of all her. Nobody could have predicted that Alyssa loved her. That Emma Nolan breaking up with her would be her undoing. 

Hanahaki disease. They say it's proof that you truly love a person. At least, that's what it says online. There was little written about it. Her mother hadn't gotten it when her father left. Guess that really says a lot about their relationship. 

(It says a lot about hers too.) 

How ironic is it that the flowers she coughed up, _Emma's_ flowers, represented love? Gardenias. _Emma_ loved them. Every time they went on a date, Alyssa would see a small gardenia shrub in the back of Emma's pick-up. She thought it was adorable how much Emma cared for it. 

Now when she sees them, all she feels is her heart _aching._ She loves Emma Nolan, but Emma Nolan broke up with her. 

* * *

She doesn't know how she’d kept it a secret. The coughing is so rigorous it ought to be spotted a mile away. If Kaylee or Shelby noticed her sadly picking at her food during lunch, or saw her coughing out a lung at practice, they didn't say a word. They just glanced at her worryingly. 

Then it happens. Emma’s video went viral, and Alyssa’s condition got worse; it was at the point where she started to cough up almost complete flowers. At that, she figured she didn’t have long left. She had maybe a month or so before flowers blocked her lungs, if she’s lucky. A day or two if she’s

* * *

Alyssa Greene has no idea what’s going on. 

Right after her surgery, she was pulled into a gym where her mom was yelling at the principal, these weird middle-aged adults, and a blonde girl that looked kinda familiar (and cute, but she’d never admit that aloud. She couldn’t.), about how they weren’t allowed to hold another prom (didn’t they just have a prom?) in the gym without talking to the PTA about it.

Then her mom said something about how the weird adults beliefs weren’t theirs and that led to Kaylee and Shelby apologizing to Emma (so that’s what her name is) and the guy from talk to the hand suddenly becoming the drama teacher? The strangest part was when Kaylee and Shelby admitted that they were secretly dating after cutting Mrs. Greene off when she started to go on about how children are impressionable.

It was a really weird day overall. And now she was at another prom, hanging around the punch bowl (how cliche) because she had no one to talk to. Kaylee and Shelby were dancing, Greg came out to her as gay and started chatting with Kevin (finally), and she didn’t feel like introducing herself to the kids from other parts of Indiana. So there she was, all alone.

Or at least she was until Emma walked away from one of the actors (she found that out from Kaylee and Shelby) and over to the punch bowl to get something to drink. Alyssa figured this would be a good time to introduce herself.

“Hey! I’m Alyssa, it’s nice to meet you!” She holds out her hand for Emma to shake, smiling. “I heard about what happened from my friends. I think you’re really brave for having gone through all that. It must have been awful.”

“What the fuck?” Emma asks, looking perplexed. Her expression changes to something Alyssa can’t place. “Is- Is this some kind of joke? You of all people should know what happened.”

“I should?”

  
“Yes! Don’t you remember anything about what happened?”

“I think you’ve mistaken me as someone else. I’ve never talked to you before now. Earlier in the gym was the first time I’ve ever seen you!”

“I- I don’t understand. Is this because I broke up with you? Because pretending like you don’t know me is something a child would do, Alyssa.”

“I don’t think I understand either. You breaking up with me means we used to date, but I’ve honestly never talked to you before.”

“You really don’t remember me?”

“I don’t think I ever knew you.”

“I’m- I’ve got to go. Nice meeting you too, I guess.”

With a hurt look on her face, Emma walks back to the actor she was talking to earlier, leaving Alyssa confused at the punch bowl.

(She asks Kaylee and Shelby if they knew about it later. They say nothing.)

* * *

Everything after the second prom went by in a blur. She graduated as valedictorian in high school, got a full-ride scholarship to NYU, became a child psychologist like she wanted, comes out to her mom, gets a girlfriend named Sofia, and then everything came to a stop when Kaylee and Shelby invited her to their wedding as their maid of honor.

The wedding was straight out of a movie amazing. Kaylee and Shelby always were the best at planning, after all. And then, during the reception, she spots her. Emma. Alyssa hadn’t seen her since the second prom, let alone talk to her in any way, shape, or form. It was almost as if she was ignoring her, or, perhaps, forgot her.

This time Emma approached her.

“Uh. Hey. Hi. Um. How’s it been, Alyssa?” Emma stammered out. 

Alyssa giggled. “It’s been.”

“That’s good. That’s good… Um, who’s that?” She points to the girl standing not to far away from Alyssa, talking to someone else.

“Oh, her? Well,” Alyssa starts, taking the girl’s hand into hers, “this is my plus one! We’ve been dating since college.”

“Ah, so she’s your girlfriend?”

“Mhm!”

“Cool, cool. I’m, uh, gonna go. Nice meeting you, Sofia.” Emma wanders off to the dance floor.

Alyssa thinks that went a lot better than the first time they talked. She spent the rest of the time dancing with Sofia, talking to old friends, and hanging out and embarrassing Kaylee and Shelby. At some point during the reception, Sofia leaves early by cab, leaving Alyssa to do whatever until after the reception so she can help clean up.

* * *

As she was headed to the restroom, she passes by Emma and overhears her flirting with one of Kaylee’s cousins, Aya. For a moment, she stopped her stride because of a pang she felt in her chest. Alyssa brushed it off and kept walking. She didn’t notice someone following her.

She wasn’t a foot through the door before someone turns her around and slams her back against it, kissing her. Clearly this person wasn’t sober, she could taste the alcohol, so she pushes them away. At who the culprit was, she’s reeling in disbelief.

“Emma? What the hell are you doing!” She was more than mad; she was furious.

She could see the gears turning in Emma’s head. “Oh my god. Oh my god! I am so sorry Alyssa!” Emma was holding her hands up in surrender.

“Sorry my ass! You know I have a girlfriend!”

“I mean it! I really am sorry. It was stupid and impulsive of me to do.”

“Obviously. Look, I just want to use the restroom and get out of here.” Alyssa motions for Emma to move.

“Right. Sorry.” She steps aside.

In the stall, she hears, what she can only assume to be Emma, coughing hard. When she steps out, Emma is bent over the sink. While she washes her hands, she sees what Emma is coughing up.

Purple lilac petals.

“Oh, Emma.” She can’t help but feel sympathy for the girl now. “Um, who is it, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“You really can’t tell?” Emma says, coughing. Her tone is something she can’t place. She looks up at Alyssa. There’s a look in her eyes that’s ineffable.

With one deep breath, free of coughs, she reveals who it is. “You.”

“What?”

“It’s you. It’s always been you. I love you, Alyssa Greene.”

“Holy shit.” Alyssa Greene was speechless.

Emma has another coughing fit.

“I’d better go now,” she says in between coughs.

Emma hands something to Alyssa, and leaves without a word. Alyssa couldn’t believe what she heard. Looking down at what Emma handed to her, she sees a phone number.

She can’t stop thinking about it. When she’s helping clean up the reception hall, on the cab ride home, cuddled up to Sofia, the thought never leaves her mind. She starts to distance herself and throws herself into work, which ends in Sofia breaking up with her. Alyssa couldn’t blame her. She spent more time in her head or at work than with Sofia.

(She realizes that she didn’t get the disease after the break up. She knows why, but she’d never admit it aloud.)

* * *

On one of the slower days at work, she gets a phone call. It was Emma’s grandma, Betsy Nolan. Emma was in critical condition at a hospital not far from her office. Her lungs were filled to the brim with purple lilacs, and she kept coughing whole flowers. Alyssa clocks out early, and rushes over as quickly as she can within the law.

She’s on auto-pilot until she reaches the door of Emma’s hospital room. Betsy shushed her when she opened her mouth, and pushed her into the room, the only thing she said was “urgent”. The room was sterile and white. It gave Alyssa bad vibes.

Emma, wearing an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose, looked over to where Alyssa just entered.

“Alyssa...?” Emma breathed out, coughing after.

Alyssa rushed over to her side. “Shh. You shouldn’t speak.”

“What are you doing here?” Emma asked, blatantly disregarding what Alyssa said.

“I’m-” Alyssa paused, thinking about the best way to word what she wanted to say.

“You’re?”

  
  
“I- I’m here to give you a proper response to what you told me on the night of the wedding.”

“Wha-”

Alyssa removed Emma’s oxygen mask, knowing the risks, and kissed her, pouring her newfound feelings into it. It felt… right to do. Like it was how the world was meant to be. And then memories came back, flooding her head with emotions and images of everything they did and said to each other. Everything about Emma that she forgot was returned back to her mind. When she pulled back from the kiss, she was crying. Resting her forehead on Emma’s, she said the words she had that were stored away and forgotten for so long.

“I love you too, Emma Nolan.”

“Holy shit.” Emma pulled back wide-eyed. She started to grin when she realized something. “Holy shit! I can breathe again!”

“Yeah,” Alyssa says laughing, tears still flowing, “you did. And I got my memory back!”

Emma’s grin widened at that as she pulled Alyssa in for another kiss. Unlike the first one, which was short and sweet to convey her feelings, this one was desperate and rushed, the fear of this moment being just a dream that temporarily shielded them from a cruel reality was terrifying.

They pulled back laughing and crying, giving each other soft kisses to the face. They had a lot to talk about, a lot to discuss, but at this moment, they lived happily in love. There was nothing that threatened their lives, nothing that would separate them. It was just them, and only them. And that’s all that they needed to be in that moment.

**Author's Note:**

> If you found any typos, grammar or punctuation issues, or generally any errors, please let me know!


End file.
